What I Would Like You To Know

A friend of mine gave me this book called Empty Arms by Pam Vredevelt.  It has been wonderful so far.  There was a paragraph that hit home with me that I read today.  It was Pam's pastor speaking to the congregation because she worked within the church. He said, "Many of you know that John and Pam were expecting a baby.  That baby is now with the Lord...Now listen to me and listen well...They don't need any 'words from God' or 'inspired exhortations' or advice.  They just need you to love them and hug them and let them work through their grief.  There will be a point where sympathy will no longer be needed or wanted, so please be sensitive to them and just allow them to be themselves."

I loved this!  I also wanted to let everyone know, I am there. I am at the "There will be a point where sympathy will no longer be needed or wanted, so please be sensitive to them and just allow them to be themselves."  However, if I am having a rough time or feel that I need some extra love on a bad day...I will let someone know.  I am working on trying to find my new normal. I am not sure what that will look like exactly, but I can say that I am quiet.  I am happiest when I am at home.  I feel introverted right now.  I am good as long as I have my family with me.  I am working on my social skills, it just feels different. Things that used to be funny aren't quite as funny.  My hopes are different.  Just give me time.  I am changed.  I don't think any Mommy can go on the same after losing a child.

Finally, October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day.  Please say a prayer and give a hug to those you know that have experienced a loss, but please remember it is the whole family that has lost the child

.  It is not just the parents that experience the loss, ask my children.