Connecting with Him

In the past year, I have started working on my relationship with God.  It has been more difficult than I have thought it would be and easier than I thought it would be...Since Renee passed away, Mike and I have made more of an effort to attend church, especially since Noah is questioning Heaven and God more and more. He is such a smart boy. 

So, we have been attending church, not as regularly as I would like, but we are getting there.  Our schedules get so chaotic, but I need to remind myself, we need to make time for Him. I try and and talk to Him each day, if for anything, to thank Him for my day and family. 

Here is where my trouble lies, I attend church and I listen, but I want more.  I went to church when I was little every weekend up until I was about 8, after that we just stopped going.  I read stories but that stopped too after that.  I feel ignorant, I want to understand the history of God and Jesus, however, I do not know where to start without feeling overwhelmed.  Bibles with there super thin paper and the verbiage sometimes makes me feel like I am reading French.  I want to grasp the significance of each person and the trials and tribulations that occurred.  Any suggestions? I want such a wonderful relationship with God, but I do not know how that can happen when I don't feel like I know all his history.  What happened to him, what he did, what people did to him.  How can I love Him for all he is worth when I do not know him that way?

I would like to mention that even though I do not know his whole story, when we are at church and I am listening, I have never felt a greater closeness and peace then in that moment.  I open my heart, and give my love.  I get goosebumps at every service. To think of all that occurred is just breathtaking. It is so selfless and loving.

Lifestyle Changes

I don't know about anyone else, but there are times in my life when I know what I want to be doing, what I should be doing, and what I am doing.  Well, I am currently trying to get those three things to all be the same, I would just like to add that this is harder to do than say.

I recently looked at what I was doing:

• Drinking at least one bottle of pop a day
• Eating candy like it was going to disappear
• Eating LOTS of fast food
• Not eating much for fruits and veggies
• Not drinking water
• No exercise

And I realized I did not like what I was doing to my body.  My yearly physical also helped me to see that what I was doing, was not good for me. My HDLs and LDLs were not where they should be and my Vitamin D was extremely low.  Well, physical activity and nutrition can help the LDLs and HDLs, because my Vitamin D was so low, they put me on a super pill of the that. 

The Vitamin D Rx has definitely helped and the energy I received from it, help me start getting myself where I wanted to be.  I finally had energy to start working out again!!! I have set a goal to run the half marathon Rock and Roll in Sept.  I have started with the exercise plan Couch to 5K, it has been awesome!!! I have about 2.5 wks left, I am then going to work up to the half...I feel so much better!!! As, I have progressed in distance, and become more comfortable with the workout, I have started to change my eating habits, the first thing to change, cold turkey, no more pop!!! I have been without pop for about 2 wks, except for a few sips at the movie theater with my sister, we shared a drink...It has been easier than I thought it would be.  I think part of it was mind over matter... Plus, because I stopped drinking pop, I now drink lots of water and some tea instead.  Big improvement!!

With that change set, I decided it was time to change some eating habits...I now make it a point to eat a yogurt and some kind of whole grain for breakfast.  My big change is lunch.  I have committed to getting a veggie in at lunch. Lately, I have been eating a cheese stick, some kind of meat, whole grain crackers and a veggie.  It is a great change from fast food or frozen food...It may not be the best lunch, but it is better than what I was doing.  I am also doing better for snacks, I have almonds that I snack on now, rather than sugary junk food all day.

The downfall I am having right now, I still want candy!  I have some at my desk at work and I will eat a few.  This is going to be my next goal, however, if anyone knows my upbringing you will understand that this will be my hardest challenge....I am not really sure how to stop or limit my intake more, if you have any suggestions, I am open.  And when should I feel guilty, after one piece, two, and handful?  I also wanted to see what others eat in a day.  I know what the food chart says and such, but in the environment we have, it seems that candy and sugar are readily available, so how much candy or sweets do you guys eat each day?  Should I be ashamed for my wants? 

Anyway, since I have stopped drinking pop, I originally noticed a lull in my energy, however, now I am noticing more energy than when I was inhaling it.  Anyone else?  We have also stopped with the fast food and eating out.  We have cut it down quite a bit and now it is once a week or less.  This is awesome on so many reasons and I am quite proud of us.  It is so much easier to just say "Screw it.  Let's go get something."  We are making efforts to ensure we eat at home. So, if anyone has quick healthier dinner ideas, please throw them my way. 

This seems like blathering now that I am looking at it, but I am proud to say that in the past 2 weeks with the eating adjustments, I have lost almost 4 lbs... I am excited to see where this newer path takes me...

Sometimes, I Just Don't Understand....

Today is a happy and sad day...Last year, my Mother In Law Renee joined our Savior.  She had been battling colon cancer for what seemed a long short while...I miss her! I miss talking with her, her bluntness, and her willingness to listen, even if it was a list of complaints.  Which a lot of the time, she could relate to me because she was married to Mike's Dad....Yeah.  I think of the good times we had together and I want to celebrate the Beautiful Woman that she was.  God Blessed me with a GREAT Mother In Law. 

Today is sad and happy for another reason today, it has been a sad battle of emotion.  I never had the privilege of meeting this little guy, but his smile and happiness touched me through the computer... Today us Charlie's 2nd Birthday, but instead today of celebrating with his Mom and Dad, he will celebrate his birthday in Heaven with God.  Charlie, had a lump of pretzel that lodged in his throat last year and could not get it out.  This makes me so sad.  This is also why I think that everyone should know CPR and the Heimlich. 

In remembrance

My Dad wrote this poem when my Papa passed away, and while I cry every time I read it. I find comfort in it too..

God looked around his garden,

And saw an empty space.

Then he looked down here on earth,

And saw your loving face.

He put His arms around you,

And lifted you to rest.

His garden must be beautiful,

Because he only picks the best.

A million times we'll miss you,

A million times we'll cry.

If love could have saved you,

You never would have died.

In life we loved you dearly,

In death we love you still.

In our hearts you hold a special place,

No one could ever fill.

It broke our hearts to lose you,

But you did not go alone.

For part of us went with you,

The day God took you home.

                                   Written by: Patrick Muilenburg

We love you Renee and Charlie.