Let me start this by telling you, I do not want any pity. I want you to try and get a glimpse of our reality. I have been having a rough time, it has been building and today is the day...There may be a few F-bombs in here and who know what else. I guess that is my warning.
Diabetes fucking sucks. I may look like I have it together, my ducks in a row or whatever your preference is, but the truth is, I am far from it! I am a hot mess! I get very little sleep and am awake 2-7 times a night. Every time I wake up, whether in the middle of the night or in the morning, a panic rushes through me and as I go to her room praying I did not miss an alarm and I peek in to see if Kyli is dead in her bed. Every damn time! Add this to the fact that we lost a child when I was 20 weeks pregnant, gave birth, and her urn in my home...the fear of losing another child weighs on me greatly and diabetes does not help this fear.
Diabetes has put Kyli and I in tears too many times in the past few weeks and frustration everyday. We have not been in tears this many times in a such short time frame within the 5 1/2 years since diagnosis and all of it has to do with Kyli acting like a normal child. Diabetes is taking away some childhood experiences that all kids should be allowed to do. Kyli has been trying to sneak food and it is wreaking havoc on my child. Kyli has been eating snacks behind my back and not dosing for some of them, the insulin doses we have been giving have been useless and she has sat between 200-400 and she is feeling awful, but she keeps doing it because she is a KID!! And just like all kids, she was totally lying and telling me she wasn't sneaking and was telling me she had no clue why her sugars were so high. We are talking 2 weeks of hell, me getting up 2-4 times a night trying to bring her down and nothing was working. I was at my wits ends. The hardest part is knowing that each day that goes by with her sugars so high is another day sugar is pounding her body and damaging it. Out of my control, it is all up to her. Would you feel comfortable allowing your child to be responsible for their own life?! At times, I don't have a choice and poor thing, she doesn't either. Responsibility is always at our door, always and it freaking sucks.
This disease in NOT just eat your food, give yourself insulin, and then you will be just fine. It is hard!! It is like adding 2+happy+cupcake+scraped knee+heat+whatever else you can think of= you need more insulin or you need candy. While there is a basic science behind it that are so many variables. Mind you, we have rocked the shit out of diabetes these past handful of years, but damn I wish we could walk away from it.
I wish I could be naive to this disease once again, but that will never happen. It haunts me and taunts me everyday. As summer is in full swing and I logically know that with the heat comes more water drinking, but as I watch my 2 year old (who is right around the age of when Kyli was diagnosed) gulp down cups of water and the fear and anxiety rises in me every single time. I then have to impatiently wait for 2 hours after he has eaten and test his blood sugars for my own sanity. Not to mention, a majority of kiddos are diagnosed during puberty and wouldn't you know, I have another knocking on that door! I watch him like a hawk. Watch for drinking changes, energy changes, peeing changes. Today he took a nap (he never takes naps), I am flipping out. See it never ends and I watch my friends on FB make posts about their kiddos being sick. Most of them have received a post from me asking them to have their kiddos blood sugars tested when they do to the doctor. All I can think is how many must have ignored me because they do not want to have to poke their child's finger. Kyli does it 10 times a day, if not more. I wish I was naive and didn't have these worries not because of the work on me, but because I watch my child struggle with the responsibility and challenges this disease puts on her everyday.
My child has had a loss of a parent! I am her damn nurse more time than her Momma! I see her and it is, "Are you okay?" "Are your sugars low?" "You need to check your sugars and correct." More of that comes out of my mouth than anything else. I would rather have more conversations of her, who she really is. This kid has gotten the short end of a stick. Today I feel it, I feel it all and I am hating every minute of it.
What amazes me most, even with all of this crap...Kyli is an amazing and spunky kid. She loves life, but the past few days we are mourning the life and freedom she will never have. Me especially, because I am watching her struggle to do things every kid should be able to do and realizing more of these struggles will pop up as she grows older and she wants to be more independent, and she will fail miserably before we can figure it out. Someday, I will have to hand over the reigns to her and it will all be on her and what a burden it is to carry without a break.
Wednesday, June 27, 2018
Thursday, April 20, 2017
Diabetic Perspective
I'm sure most of you have heard about the new Unicorn Frappucino; it has caused quite the uproar in my community. I have seen many comments and posts about this beverage and its sugar content. People are continually sharing memes and making comments about how this beverage will cause diabetes. Here are a few examples I have seen:
First, there are two types of diabetes: Type 1, which is an immune disorder that causes the body to actually attacks itself and inflame the pancreas; this is what Kyli has. There is also Type 2, which develops for many different reasons: a lazy pancreas, weight gain, obesity, and a poor diet, but there are also people that develop this after battling cancer, because their treatment impacted their pancreas. I am tired of the word "Diabetes" being used so carelessly. Every time Kyli hears someone make a comment in public about diabetes, she asks me if she caused her disease. These words scar her, and I have to perform damage control. She has enough to battle. There is so much judgement placed on those with Type 2 diabetes that they don't need to have to deal with uneducated and hurtful remarks as well. We ALL splurge sometimes, and enjoy ridiculous treats! Granted, some of us do so more than others, but judgement isn't necessary.
I have never seen a meme about bringing about your own cancer by eating processed food, or causing your own Alzheimer's because you drink from aluminum cans. Why? Because people understand it is disrespectful and rude. Guess what, so are the diabetes remarks. We live this disease everyday 24/7, no vacations, middle of the night blood sugar checks EVERY NIGHT, with many scary moments thanks to sugar highs and sugar lows. My daughter could die if we do not catch a sugar low! Yes... she could DIE! She will live with this disease the rest of her life. She will go through hell trying to manage it while going through puberty and possibly pregnancy, because the hormones those events produce cause this disease to be next to uncontrollable The thing is, she doesn't have a choice.
Finally, being a part of this community, I do not hold a grudge with those who have made these posts, because people don't know what they don't know, but I hope this post may cause someone to pause and think about the impact their uninformed comments may have on others around them. Please stop with the dirty diabetes comments... they are not funny.
Hollywood Studios- This was the reality of our vacation: sugar lows during the day, and lack of sleep from more sugar lows at night.
Tuesday, April 11, 2017
What Should the Meme Say?
I took this photo awhile ago and it continues too make me laugh...He is a funny little guy.
That being said, I need to create it into a meme, what should it say? Pass it around, let's what the best line is!
That being said, I need to create it into a meme, what should it say? Pass it around, let's what the best line is!
Tuesday, April 4, 2017
Where Did the Time Go?
Randomly today, I thought of my little blog spot and decided to come back and look at it. I could not believe that the last time I posted was that long ago!! I will say though, I was very broken during that time and then super busy the rest.
So here we are, a family of 5 and a heavenly baby too. We have Mike, Heather, Noah (10), Kyli (7), and Logan (20 months). We are beyond blessed with this bunch! Noah is super smart and one of the most loyal kiddos to his family! He will help me with anything I ask him with little to usually no complaints at all. He will gladly help me clean the house and has been asking to learn each of the steps to wash, dry, fold laundry- he is an amazing catch!! Kyli is my sweet and sassy. She loves her baby brother and wants him to love her and spend time doing what she wants. That is their newest battle is that she wants him to do what she wants...we all know how that goes. She is very thoughtful and social. She puts me in awe with how easily and happily she makes new friends wherever she goes. Now we have Logan, the newest to the bunch. This little boy has me wrapped around his finger. He is the sweetest little thing to his Mama! He grabs my face and pulls me in for kisses on a daily basis!! He has the sweetest smiles and it learning humor. His laughs are so stinking adorable. This kiddo though, his speeds are sleep and run, there is not anything in between. He keeps me on my toes!!! He also is completely AWFUL at chewing food up and at least once a day he chokes. Logan is easily the final piece to our family puzzle. He brings us all together. I am so thankful for them all.
Here is a picture of our bunch! This was our first major vacation and it was such an amazing trip!! I am pretty sure we all would gladly live in Florida, if we could be on vacation everyday!! We were gone 10 days and nobody wanted it to end. It was such great family time and I saw love on this vacation that I normally do not see at home. So awesome! I cannot wait for our next adventure!
So here we are, a family of 5 and a heavenly baby too. We have Mike, Heather, Noah (10), Kyli (7), and Logan (20 months). We are beyond blessed with this bunch! Noah is super smart and one of the most loyal kiddos to his family! He will help me with anything I ask him with little to usually no complaints at all. He will gladly help me clean the house and has been asking to learn each of the steps to wash, dry, fold laundry- he is an amazing catch!! Kyli is my sweet and sassy. She loves her baby brother and wants him to love her and spend time doing what she wants. That is their newest battle is that she wants him to do what she wants...we all know how that goes. She is very thoughtful and social. She puts me in awe with how easily and happily she makes new friends wherever she goes. Now we have Logan, the newest to the bunch. This little boy has me wrapped around his finger. He is the sweetest little thing to his Mama! He grabs my face and pulls me in for kisses on a daily basis!! He has the sweetest smiles and it learning humor. His laughs are so stinking adorable. This kiddo though, his speeds are sleep and run, there is not anything in between. He keeps me on my toes!!! He also is completely AWFUL at chewing food up and at least once a day he chokes. Logan is easily the final piece to our family puzzle. He brings us all together. I am so thankful for them all.
Here is a picture of our bunch! This was our first major vacation and it was such an amazing trip!! I am pretty sure we all would gladly live in Florida, if we could be on vacation everyday!! We were gone 10 days and nobody wanted it to end. It was such great family time and I saw love on this vacation that I normally do not see at home. So awesome! I cannot wait for our next adventure!
Sunday, October 12, 2014
What I Would Like You To Know
A friend of mine gave me this book called Empty Arms by Pam Vredevelt. It has been wonderful so far. There was a paragraph that hit home with me that I read today. It was Pam's pastor speaking to the congregation because she worked within the church. He said, "Many of you know that John and Pam were expecting a baby. That baby is now with the Lord...Now listen to me and listen well...They don't need any 'words from God' or 'inspired exhortations' or advice. They just need you to love them and hug them and let them work through their grief. There will be a point where sympathy will no longer be needed or wanted, so please be sensitive to them and just allow them to be themselves."
I loved this! I also wanted to let everyone know, I am there. I am at the "There will be a point where sympathy will no longer be needed or wanted, so please be sensitive to them and just allow them to be themselves." However, if I am having a rough time or feel that I need some extra love on a bad day...I will let someone know. I am working on trying to find my new normal. I am not sure what that will look like exactly, but I can say that I am quiet. I am happiest when I am at home. I feel introverted right now. I am good as long as I have my family with me. I am working on my social skills, it just feels different. Things that used to be funny aren't quite as funny. My hopes are different. Just give me time. I am changed. I don't think any Mommy can go on the same after losing a child.
Finally, October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day. Please say a prayer and give a hug to those you know that have experienced a loss, but please remember it is the whole family that has lost the child
. It is not just the parents that experience the loss, ask my children.
I loved this! I also wanted to let everyone know, I am there. I am at the "There will be a point where sympathy will no longer be needed or wanted, so please be sensitive to them and just allow them to be themselves." However, if I am having a rough time or feel that I need some extra love on a bad day...I will let someone know. I am working on trying to find my new normal. I am not sure what that will look like exactly, but I can say that I am quiet. I am happiest when I am at home. I feel introverted right now. I am good as long as I have my family with me. I am working on my social skills, it just feels different. Things that used to be funny aren't quite as funny. My hopes are different. Just give me time. I am changed. I don't think any Mommy can go on the same after losing a child.
Finally, October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day. Please say a prayer and give a hug to those you know that have experienced a loss, but please remember it is the whole family that has lost the child
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Changes
Since Kaitlin was born, I have changed greatly. I am so very different on the inside. I am struggling to find my new norm. My outlook on everything has changed. I want to take a minute to apologize to those that I have been around. I know I have not been my "normal" self. Unfortunately, that is never going to be my normal again. I have a piece of me that is missing.
Since Kaitlin's passing, I am not exactly a "people person" anymore. I am a "my little family person." I do not find fun in going out. I generally want to stay home and just be with my littles. The times I do go out I try to make the most of it or I am forced to the store. It is still difficult, many of you I saw pre Kaitlin. You remind me of a time when I was happier and even ignorant of so many things. It was an easier day then. It can be very difficult for me to talk to people. While I appreciate your condolences, I don't even know how to respond anymore. I am stronger than I was a month and a half ago, but I have my own struggles daily missing her. I am trying to grow and move on with my new normal and missing Kaitlin will always be apart of that. The problem with having a new normal is that I am still evolving. It is changing everyday. I am learning and realizing new things each day.
Kaitlin was here for me to change. It has happened. I have a new appreciation for so many things. I enjoy listening to the kiddos on the way to school, the sunrises, the plowed fields, traffic. I am thankful for Kyli's diabetes and all the trials it brings. I am thankful Kyli is here, it could be worse. I could have lost her to this awful disease. I have more patience than I have had in years. The problem with it, is that I now need to learn how to cope with things around me in a new calmer way. I don't want to be angry. I am more boring than I was before, if that is possible. I was never a crazy girl, but I am more docile. I find it harder to laugh. Things that used to make me laugh aren't quite as funny as they used to be. Most days I wish I could laugh just the same as I used to. It is not that easy. Losing a child is life altering. You realize how powerless you are, how greedy you are, how selfish you are and most importantly how full of hope you are and want to be. I am a different person trying to find my new norm. Most days this new norm makes me feel lost in a world that I used to know. I am trying to find my new norm and find myself in it. I look forward to the time when I finally feel more solid on my new way, until then I saw this and it hit home...
Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.
—Henri Nouwen
Since Kaitlin's passing, I am not exactly a "people person" anymore. I am a "my little family person." I do not find fun in going out. I generally want to stay home and just be with my littles. The times I do go out I try to make the most of it or I am forced to the store. It is still difficult, many of you I saw pre Kaitlin. You remind me of a time when I was happier and even ignorant of so many things. It was an easier day then. It can be very difficult for me to talk to people. While I appreciate your condolences, I don't even know how to respond anymore. I am stronger than I was a month and a half ago, but I have my own struggles daily missing her. I am trying to grow and move on with my new normal and missing Kaitlin will always be apart of that. The problem with having a new normal is that I am still evolving. It is changing everyday. I am learning and realizing new things each day.
Kaitlin was here for me to change. It has happened. I have a new appreciation for so many things. I enjoy listening to the kiddos on the way to school, the sunrises, the plowed fields, traffic. I am thankful for Kyli's diabetes and all the trials it brings. I am thankful Kyli is here, it could be worse. I could have lost her to this awful disease. I have more patience than I have had in years. The problem with it, is that I now need to learn how to cope with things around me in a new calmer way. I don't want to be angry. I am more boring than I was before, if that is possible. I was never a crazy girl, but I am more docile. I find it harder to laugh. Things that used to make me laugh aren't quite as funny as they used to be. Most days I wish I could laugh just the same as I used to. It is not that easy. Losing a child is life altering. You realize how powerless you are, how greedy you are, how selfish you are and most importantly how full of hope you are and want to be. I am a different person trying to find my new norm. Most days this new norm makes me feel lost in a world that I used to know. I am trying to find my new norm and find myself in it. I look forward to the time when I finally feel more solid on my new way, until then I saw this and it hit home...
Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.
—Henri Nouwen
Monday, September 15, 2014
Saved
I am not a poetic writer...I am not a witty writer...I am a logical, usually lacking emotion because I am so logical about it writer...That being said, we have had more happen in the last month than I ever wished for.
As most of you know, we were pregnant with our 3rd little. On August 15, 2014, we went in for our 20 wk ultrasound. The kiddos went with us, because we wanted them to see their sibling and start to really make a connection with Baby Guppy (this is the name Kyli named this one). Unfortunately, God had other plans. We found out at this ultrasound that our little one no longer had a heartbeat. This baby was already in Heaven. The kiddos were too busy to pay attention, thank goodness. That night, we went into the hospital and they induced me. On August 16, 2014 at 9:36 am, I gave birth to my angel baby, Kaitlin Marie Gochenour. She was perfect. She was tiny and fit in my hand. Kaitlin is a stillborn kiddo and not a miscarriage. I gave birth to her. I went into labor, I lost about a quarter of my blood and had to have a D&C after. This birth was the scariest of all three of my kiddos. They could not tell me what to expect or when to expect her. It was the hardest thing I have experienced in my life, to know you have to go into labor and birth her body but wanting to make it last as long as possible, to just keep her just a little longer. In the end her actual birth was quick and my body did all the work.
I am blessed, Mike was with me from the beginning. He was and continues to be an amazing partner through all my crazy emotions and random moments of tears. He just lets me be who I am and express what I need to. He has not had an easy job and it is not a job that one day stops, and he has continued to just show me love and understanding. I know I am lucky.
Many things have changed for me since the passing of my daughter. I have been mourning her each day. Some days are easier than others, but everyday, multiple times a day I think about Kaitlin. I have come to many realizations since her birth.
1. It was never in God's plan to have Kaitlin walk on this Earth. Never.
2. We have so many family members and friends that love us more than I ever thought they did.
3. I was shown what love and support REALLY looks like. This continues still.
4. Kaitlin had and continues to have a purpose in our lives.
-This is so powerful me. I have discussed with so many people that have walked through our door since Kaitlin went to our Heavenly Father.
I watched Kyli start to care for others, mind you she is the baby of the family and our little diabetic, she is used to getting a lot of the attention. She had started to tell Kaitlin stories and hug and kiss my belly throughout the day. She was being a big sister. It was amazing. Even after, Kyli continues to be hyper aware of my ever changing emotions. The moment she feels a change, she is by my side giving my hugs and kisses, looking into my eyes to see if I am crying, again. She has been so sweet and loving. She surprises me everyday with how aware she is of my emotions.
The changes I have experienced within myself have been staggering. I prayed for about the last year for patience with my kiddos...losing Kaitlin has given me a different and intense appreciation for my kiddos. My patience level is so much more than where I was a month ago.
I have had a realization that has changed everything for me and this is the HUGE one for me! Let me preface this, about 2 years ago, I was saved. I turned my life over to God and accepted that God sacrificed his only Son to forgive me for my sins. That being said, I have been thinking about how God made a decision to sacrifice his Son, knowing fully what would happen to Him and it was so that we could all be saved and have a chance to live in Heaven with Him. I have been sitting here so selfishly wanting Kaitlin back. What I have come to understand is that Kaitlin will forever be exactly the meaning of her name, pure and it will be forever. She will never have a chance to sin. If He could sacrifice his son to forgive us for our sins, how can I so selfishly think that Kaitlin's life is more valuable. (I am pretty sure I cannot explain this to anyone how I completely feel about this. Nor am I certain if this explains how I feel. It is so big and emotional for me.) I consider Kaitlin a sacrifice, but there is an intention for her sacrifice. I have a new understanding emotionally for how painful God's decision must have been. He made the decision, and we did not but the loss of a child can be so painful. He knew his child was coming home to him, but the suffering and His death must have been so painful to watch and experience. Thankfully God was there to welcome His son home. I know He was there for our daughter too.
We went back to church for the first time since Kaitlin's birth this past weekend...I have never felt the connection that I did this past week. It was overwhelming. I found tears in all the music... I found tears when our Pastor was talking to those that were accepting Christ as their Savior and I felt a newer deeper connection to those words. While I won't say that this past weekend was when I became saved...I will say that I have a much deeper and emotional connection. If it is possible, I became saved a second time on a new level, one where I feel the pain that went with his sacrifice.
I am done for now...I felt this would be a good time to TRY and express some of what has happened and what I am feeling. I am not convinced that I accurately expressed it or for that matter that any of this makes sense to anyone, but I felt that this would be a good time. Tomorrow will be one month since she was born and honestly, it feels like it has been years...
One final piece that I have learned to try and live by since (and let me tell you how difficult it is) is this one scripture that seems to hit home everyday
"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."
-Romans 12:15
For all my friends who are pregnant or just had a baby, while it is not easy for me to see (I am jealous)... I love you and I pray for the best for each one of you.
As most of you know, we were pregnant with our 3rd little. On August 15, 2014, we went in for our 20 wk ultrasound. The kiddos went with us, because we wanted them to see their sibling and start to really make a connection with Baby Guppy (this is the name Kyli named this one). Unfortunately, God had other plans. We found out at this ultrasound that our little one no longer had a heartbeat. This baby was already in Heaven. The kiddos were too busy to pay attention, thank goodness. That night, we went into the hospital and they induced me. On August 16, 2014 at 9:36 am, I gave birth to my angel baby, Kaitlin Marie Gochenour. She was perfect. She was tiny and fit in my hand. Kaitlin is a stillborn kiddo and not a miscarriage. I gave birth to her. I went into labor, I lost about a quarter of my blood and had to have a D&C after. This birth was the scariest of all three of my kiddos. They could not tell me what to expect or when to expect her. It was the hardest thing I have experienced in my life, to know you have to go into labor and birth her body but wanting to make it last as long as possible, to just keep her just a little longer. In the end her actual birth was quick and my body did all the work.
I am blessed, Mike was with me from the beginning. He was and continues to be an amazing partner through all my crazy emotions and random moments of tears. He just lets me be who I am and express what I need to. He has not had an easy job and it is not a job that one day stops, and he has continued to just show me love and understanding. I know I am lucky.
Many things have changed for me since the passing of my daughter. I have been mourning her each day. Some days are easier than others, but everyday, multiple times a day I think about Kaitlin. I have come to many realizations since her birth.
1. It was never in God's plan to have Kaitlin walk on this Earth. Never.
2. We have so many family members and friends that love us more than I ever thought they did.
3. I was shown what love and support REALLY looks like. This continues still.
4. Kaitlin had and continues to have a purpose in our lives.
-This is so powerful me. I have discussed with so many people that have walked through our door since Kaitlin went to our Heavenly Father.
I watched Kyli start to care for others, mind you she is the baby of the family and our little diabetic, she is used to getting a lot of the attention. She had started to tell Kaitlin stories and hug and kiss my belly throughout the day. She was being a big sister. It was amazing. Even after, Kyli continues to be hyper aware of my ever changing emotions. The moment she feels a change, she is by my side giving my hugs and kisses, looking into my eyes to see if I am crying, again. She has been so sweet and loving. She surprises me everyday with how aware she is of my emotions.
The changes I have experienced within myself have been staggering. I prayed for about the last year for patience with my kiddos...losing Kaitlin has given me a different and intense appreciation for my kiddos. My patience level is so much more than where I was a month ago.
I have had a realization that has changed everything for me and this is the HUGE one for me! Let me preface this, about 2 years ago, I was saved. I turned my life over to God and accepted that God sacrificed his only Son to forgive me for my sins. That being said, I have been thinking about how God made a decision to sacrifice his Son, knowing fully what would happen to Him and it was so that we could all be saved and have a chance to live in Heaven with Him. I have been sitting here so selfishly wanting Kaitlin back. What I have come to understand is that Kaitlin will forever be exactly the meaning of her name, pure and it will be forever. She will never have a chance to sin. If He could sacrifice his son to forgive us for our sins, how can I so selfishly think that Kaitlin's life is more valuable. (I am pretty sure I cannot explain this to anyone how I completely feel about this. Nor am I certain if this explains how I feel. It is so big and emotional for me.) I consider Kaitlin a sacrifice, but there is an intention for her sacrifice. I have a new understanding emotionally for how painful God's decision must have been. He made the decision, and we did not but the loss of a child can be so painful. He knew his child was coming home to him, but the suffering and His death must have been so painful to watch and experience. Thankfully God was there to welcome His son home. I know He was there for our daughter too.
We went back to church for the first time since Kaitlin's birth this past weekend...I have never felt the connection that I did this past week. It was overwhelming. I found tears in all the music... I found tears when our Pastor was talking to those that were accepting Christ as their Savior and I felt a newer deeper connection to those words. While I won't say that this past weekend was when I became saved...I will say that I have a much deeper and emotional connection. If it is possible, I became saved a second time on a new level, one where I feel the pain that went with his sacrifice.
I am done for now...I felt this would be a good time to TRY and express some of what has happened and what I am feeling. I am not convinced that I accurately expressed it or for that matter that any of this makes sense to anyone, but I felt that this would be a good time. Tomorrow will be one month since she was born and honestly, it feels like it has been years...
One final piece that I have learned to try and live by since (and let me tell you how difficult it is) is this one scripture that seems to hit home everyday
"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."
-Romans 12:15
For all my friends who are pregnant or just had a baby, while it is not easy for me to see (I am jealous)... I love you and I pray for the best for each one of you.
Thursday, July 10, 2014
The Question
I have not blogged in quite awhile...it is sad to think of how many awesome things I have missed to write about. One thing you should know, we are expecting Baby #3 (aka Baby Guppy) around January 5, 2015. This is a very exciting time for us and especially the kiddos! They are so excited and wherever we go, at least one kiddo is telling the cashier, librarian, or anyone they see that "Mommy has a baby in her tummy." I love it, great memories for us all!!
That being said, I have been waiting for a question to be asked of me...it finally happened today. I am 14 weeks, not far, but far enough. I was asked, "Are you scared this one (the baby) will become diabetic?" Here is my answer:
No. I do not worry about this baby becoming anymore than I think about Noah becoming diabetic. Which in all honesty does not happen very often. I only question it when he is sick or starts to act funny with headaches or tummy aches.
God blesses us in many different and odd ways. Kyli's diabetes has been a blessing to us. While we have our struggles with it and the hospitalizations, I feel that our family has a closer bond from it and a larger understanding for people and kiddos who are different than the average child. We have been given the opportunity to embrace other families going through similar struggles, the kiddos have been able to do activities they would not have been able to if it weren't for Kyli's diabetes, and I have been reminded over and over to be more thankful for my kiddos and the lessons they teach me from it.
IF either of my two other kiddos become diabetic (or both for that matter), they have two steps already in their favor, one they have a teammate to hold their hand and help them build a new path and two, they have parents and family who already know how to handle diabetes in a positive and team playing way to help them out and achieve success daily.
IF it happens, I will still grieve. There are still days that I cry for Kyli, not for what she was given but for the things she will not experience. She will not go another day without some kind of medicine needing to go into her body, finger pokes everyday (at least 10 a day), or to be able to eat something and not worry about how many carbs it has and dose accordingly. Kyli cannot binge eat ever. Eating a large meal can wreak havoc on her sugars, imagine a half gallon of ice cream and some Cheetos, YIKES!!
Here is the thing though, I have two healthy kiddos right now. With of without diabetes, Kyli is HEALTHY! She grows, she eats, she is thriving and most importantly she is spunky and HAPPY! When you see Kyli, you would never know her pancreas is dead and that she requires medicine all day, everyday. She has the most positive outlook, it doesn't stop her and she is proud of who she is, including her diabetes! If we end up with another diabetic, it is in God's hands and we will embrace our path no matter what. I have told others before, maybe Kyli's diagnosis has nothing to do with our family, but for someone we come into contact with on our life journey. I don't question it, I am thankful that my little girl is alive and healthy, not all outcomes are as positive as ours when comes to diabetes.
That being said, I have been waiting for a question to be asked of me...it finally happened today. I am 14 weeks, not far, but far enough. I was asked, "Are you scared this one (the baby) will become diabetic?" Here is my answer:
No. I do not worry about this baby becoming anymore than I think about Noah becoming diabetic. Which in all honesty does not happen very often. I only question it when he is sick or starts to act funny with headaches or tummy aches.
God blesses us in many different and odd ways. Kyli's diabetes has been a blessing to us. While we have our struggles with it and the hospitalizations, I feel that our family has a closer bond from it and a larger understanding for people and kiddos who are different than the average child. We have been given the opportunity to embrace other families going through similar struggles, the kiddos have been able to do activities they would not have been able to if it weren't for Kyli's diabetes, and I have been reminded over and over to be more thankful for my kiddos and the lessons they teach me from it.
IF either of my two other kiddos become diabetic (or both for that matter), they have two steps already in their favor, one they have a teammate to hold their hand and help them build a new path and two, they have parents and family who already know how to handle diabetes in a positive and team playing way to help them out and achieve success daily.
IF it happens, I will still grieve. There are still days that I cry for Kyli, not for what she was given but for the things she will not experience. She will not go another day without some kind of medicine needing to go into her body, finger pokes everyday (at least 10 a day), or to be able to eat something and not worry about how many carbs it has and dose accordingly. Kyli cannot binge eat ever. Eating a large meal can wreak havoc on her sugars, imagine a half gallon of ice cream and some Cheetos, YIKES!!
Here is the thing though, I have two healthy kiddos right now. With of without diabetes, Kyli is HEALTHY! She grows, she eats, she is thriving and most importantly she is spunky and HAPPY! When you see Kyli, you would never know her pancreas is dead and that she requires medicine all day, everyday. She has the most positive outlook, it doesn't stop her and she is proud of who she is, including her diabetes! If we end up with another diabetic, it is in God's hands and we will embrace our path no matter what. I have told others before, maybe Kyli's diagnosis has nothing to do with our family, but for someone we come into contact with on our life journey. I don't question it, I am thankful that my little girl is alive and healthy, not all outcomes are as positive as ours when comes to diabetes.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Appreciation
The last few weeks have been trying for me. We have had a lot of challenging trials arise at our home, with family, and for our friends. This is one of those times, I start to truly wish I could talk with God so I could try and comprehend even remotely his plan. I know that everything that happens, happens for a reason and while I may not see the purpose there is one. Some of this, I am starting to see when it comes to my family and our home. We have struggled and had sad moments, angry moments, and finally moments of triumph.
My Mom is finally divorced and the house is selling. She is going to be able to start fresh and with the support of her family. We will still struggle, but the support will be there and some ties will finally be broken and no longer able to hurt. My health was cleared! I had to have a biopsy on my left breast due to an unusual lump. While I managed that stress fairly well, it got the best of me after the biopsy while I was waiting for the results. I just could not imagine that battle right now. If I had to, I would of done my best...luckily, God decided that this was not in my cards, at least for now and hopefully never. Kyli's diabetes is becoming more prominent, but I am home and I am able to care for her. I am hoping that with the increasing amount of shots that at our next appointment we can start to discuss a pump for her. While I am really excited about this, it is a whole new approach to diabetes and we will have a lot to learn. Besides all of this, Mike' sister and Mom have a lot of change coming up for them and I wish them the best in their new adventures as well.
I have seen many struggles for our friends, challenges with health for loved little ones, death, sadness, breakups and so much more. This is so hard for me. I wish we were all closer to one another, then we could all just get together and show each other support and give one another comfort. Right now, my words feel so meek, like they cannot make a difference. I am struggling with this. I just want them all to know how much I really love all of them and wish the best for them. Is it bad that all these trials scare me? I am afraid of what is next, but I am trying to be optimistic that it will all be good things. Spring is right around the corner! Which means summer is even closer! Have I mentioned I am not a fan of winter, except for the births of my kiddos happened then. The warm air feels me with warmth.
All these challenges is once again a reminder of how blessed we are and that God is amazing. We may not see Him, but He is gracing us with His presence and love. He is guiding us and helping us to become better people. He is there during our trials and our triumphs. He is my ultimate Father and I need to do my best to remember that He will take care of us and that is the only one with knowledge of our life plan.
So to all my friends and family, I am always thinking about you and you have my love.
My Mom is finally divorced and the house is selling. She is going to be able to start fresh and with the support of her family. We will still struggle, but the support will be there and some ties will finally be broken and no longer able to hurt. My health was cleared! I had to have a biopsy on my left breast due to an unusual lump. While I managed that stress fairly well, it got the best of me after the biopsy while I was waiting for the results. I just could not imagine that battle right now. If I had to, I would of done my best...luckily, God decided that this was not in my cards, at least for now and hopefully never. Kyli's diabetes is becoming more prominent, but I am home and I am able to care for her. I am hoping that with the increasing amount of shots that at our next appointment we can start to discuss a pump for her. While I am really excited about this, it is a whole new approach to diabetes and we will have a lot to learn. Besides all of this, Mike' sister and Mom have a lot of change coming up for them and I wish them the best in their new adventures as well.
I have seen many struggles for our friends, challenges with health for loved little ones, death, sadness, breakups and so much more. This is so hard for me. I wish we were all closer to one another, then we could all just get together and show each other support and give one another comfort. Right now, my words feel so meek, like they cannot make a difference. I am struggling with this. I just want them all to know how much I really love all of them and wish the best for them. Is it bad that all these trials scare me? I am afraid of what is next, but I am trying to be optimistic that it will all be good things. Spring is right around the corner! Which means summer is even closer! Have I mentioned I am not a fan of winter, except for the births of my kiddos happened then. The warm air feels me with warmth.
All these challenges is once again a reminder of how blessed we are and that God is amazing. We may not see Him, but He is gracing us with His presence and love. He is guiding us and helping us to become better people. He is there during our trials and our triumphs. He is my ultimate Father and I need to do my best to remember that He will take care of us and that is the only one with knowledge of our life plan.
So to all my friends and family, I am always thinking about you and you have my love.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Friday, November 2, 2012
Friday, June 15, 2012
Friday, June 8, 2012
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Sugar Scare
Today started off as any normal day, we ha a birthday party today and Kyli had a cupcake. We went to church this evening and then came home. With Kyli having a higher risk of diabetes, we check her sugars every other week. Well today was the day, we got home and I have noticed she was fuller diapers, which is a concern for me, symptom. So we sat her down, she helped and and picked which finger to do. 340- AHHHHH! So Mike went and washed her hands, and we tried again 222...I was going wait, think. Has she had anything since the party....oh yes! Clif bar!! Oh, so we waited another hour, for it to be 2 hrs and tad ah 134! Let me tell you, while I know the symptoms and what her sugars should be, I was the most scared I have been in a long time. My brain kind of shut down and I had to stop and think. My worst nightmare was right in my face, and luckily I can say, false alarm. On a side note, I can say that I handled it quite well and hopefully we will never experience a high blood sugar again.
I just do no want to imagine Kyli as a diabetic. Also,Kyli, Noah, Mike and I are participating in the Juvenile Diabetes Walk this year. We are looking for people to walk on our team and for donations, please let me know if you are interested. This quite a cause, it is close to my heart for two reasons, one Kyli has a 1 in 50 chance of becoming diabetic and two, my Mom is a juvenile diabetic and has survived so much, including a kidney transplant. While juvenile diabetes is more manageable than it used to be,there are still so many toll that is takes on the person, this foundation is working on so many things to help these people and find a way to stop diabetes. No more scares Miss Kyli Marie!
I just do no want to imagine Kyli as a diabetic. Also,Kyli, Noah, Mike and I are participating in the Juvenile Diabetes Walk this year. We are looking for people to walk on our team and for donations, please let me know if you are interested. This quite a cause, it is close to my heart for two reasons, one Kyli has a 1 in 50 chance of becoming diabetic and two, my Mom is a juvenile diabetic and has survived so much, including a kidney transplant. While juvenile diabetes is more manageable than it used to be,there are still so many toll that is takes on the person, this foundation is working on so many things to help these people and find a way to stop diabetes. No more scares Miss Kyli Marie!
XOXO
Putt Putt
This pass weekend Noah, Kyli and I had an awesome Sunday with our church. They were raising money for a mission that is planned for this summer. My Mom and my sister came...it was a blast! This was Noah's third or fourth visit, we try to go at least once each summer with him. This was Kyli's second visit but her first time playing...she got a hole in one. Go figure! Kyli's version was a little different than everyone else, she would let me help her putt the first time for each round and then grab the ball and throw it in the hole, while this sounds easy, it took her a few tries sometimes. I was on my toes the whole time, but man it was fun!! Can't wait to do it again...
Kyli's hole in one photo- Noah snuck in:)
The golfers
Taking a break, enjoying the view
My little putter pro
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Connecting with Him
In the past year, I have started working on my relationship with God. It has been more difficult than I have thought it would be and easier than I thought it would be...Since Renee passed away, Mike and I have made more of an effort to attend church, especially since Noah is questioning Heaven and God more and more. He is such a smart boy.
So, we have been attending church, not as regularly as I would like, but we are getting there. Our schedules get so chaotic, but I need to remind myself, we need to make time for Him. I try and and talk to Him each day, if for anything, to thank Him for my day and family.
Here is where my trouble lies, I attend church and I listen, but I want more. I went to church when I was little every weekend up until I was about 8, after that we just stopped going. I read stories but that stopped too after that. I feel ignorant, I want to understand the history of God and Jesus, however, I do not know where to start without feeling overwhelmed. Bibles with there super thin paper and the verbiage sometimes makes me feel like I am reading French. I want to grasp the significance of each person and the trials and tribulations that occurred. Any suggestions? I want such a wonderful relationship with God, but I do not know how that can happen when I don't feel like I know all his history. What happened to him, what he did, what people did to him. How can I love Him for all he is worth when I do not know him that way?
I would like to mention that even though I do not know his whole story, when we are at church and I am listening, I have never felt a greater closeness and peace then in that moment. I open my heart, and give my love. I get goosebumps at every service. To think of all that occurred is just breathtaking. It is so selfless and loving.
So, we have been attending church, not as regularly as I would like, but we are getting there. Our schedules get so chaotic, but I need to remind myself, we need to make time for Him. I try and and talk to Him each day, if for anything, to thank Him for my day and family.
Here is where my trouble lies, I attend church and I listen, but I want more. I went to church when I was little every weekend up until I was about 8, after that we just stopped going. I read stories but that stopped too after that. I feel ignorant, I want to understand the history of God and Jesus, however, I do not know where to start without feeling overwhelmed. Bibles with there super thin paper and the verbiage sometimes makes me feel like I am reading French. I want to grasp the significance of each person and the trials and tribulations that occurred. Any suggestions? I want such a wonderful relationship with God, but I do not know how that can happen when I don't feel like I know all his history. What happened to him, what he did, what people did to him. How can I love Him for all he is worth when I do not know him that way?
I would like to mention that even though I do not know his whole story, when we are at church and I am listening, I have never felt a greater closeness and peace then in that moment. I open my heart, and give my love. I get goosebumps at every service. To think of all that occurred is just breathtaking. It is so selfless and loving.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Lifestyle Changes
I don't know about anyone else, but there are times in my life when I know what I want to be doing, what I should be doing, and what I am doing. Well, I am currently trying to get those three things to all be the same, I would just like to add that this is harder to do than say.
I recently looked at what I was doing:
The Vitamin D Rx has definitely helped and the energy I received from it, help me start getting myself where I wanted to be. I finally had energy to start working out again!!! I have set a goal to run the half marathon Rock and Roll in Sept. I have started with the exercise plan Couch to 5K, it has been awesome!!! I have about 2.5 wks left, I am then going to work up to the half...I feel so much better!!! As, I have progressed in distance, and become more comfortable with the workout, I have started to change my eating habits, the first thing to change, cold turkey, no more pop!!! I have been without pop for about 2 wks, except for a few sips at the movie theater with my sister, we shared a drink...It has been easier than I thought it would be. I think part of it was mind over matter... Plus, because I stopped drinking pop, I now drink lots of water and some tea instead. Big improvement!!
With that change set, I decided it was time to change some eating habits...I now make it a point to eat a yogurt and some kind of whole grain for breakfast. My big change is lunch. I have committed to getting a veggie in at lunch. Lately, I have been eating a cheese stick, some kind of meat, whole grain crackers and a veggie. It is a great change from fast food or frozen food...It may not be the best lunch, but it is better than what I was doing. I am also doing better for snacks, I have almonds that I snack on now, rather than sugary junk food all day.
The downfall I am having right now, I still want candy! I have some at my desk at work and I will eat a few. This is going to be my next goal, however, if anyone knows my upbringing you will understand that this will be my hardest challenge....I am not really sure how to stop or limit my intake more, if you have any suggestions, I am open. And when should I feel guilty, after one piece, two, and handful? I also wanted to see what others eat in a day. I know what the food chart says and such, but in the environment we have, it seems that candy and sugar are readily available, so how much candy or sweets do you guys eat each day? Should I be ashamed for my wants?
Anyway, since I have stopped drinking pop, I originally noticed a lull in my energy, however, now I am noticing more energy than when I was inhaling it. Anyone else? We have also stopped with the fast food and eating out. We have cut it down quite a bit and now it is once a week or less. This is awesome on so many reasons and I am quite proud of us. It is so much easier to just say "Screw it. Let's go get something." We are making efforts to ensure we eat at home. So, if anyone has quick healthier dinner ideas, please throw them my way.
This seems like blathering now that I am looking at it, but I am proud to say that in the past 2 weeks with the eating adjustments, I have lost almost 4 lbs... I am excited to see where this newer path takes me...
I recently looked at what I was doing:
- Drinking at least one bottle of pop a day
- Eating candy like it was going to disappear
- Eating LOTS of fast food
- Not eating much for fruits and veggies
- Not drinking water
- No exercise
The Vitamin D Rx has definitely helped and the energy I received from it, help me start getting myself where I wanted to be. I finally had energy to start working out again!!! I have set a goal to run the half marathon Rock and Roll in Sept. I have started with the exercise plan Couch to 5K, it has been awesome!!! I have about 2.5 wks left, I am then going to work up to the half...I feel so much better!!! As, I have progressed in distance, and become more comfortable with the workout, I have started to change my eating habits, the first thing to change, cold turkey, no more pop!!! I have been without pop for about 2 wks, except for a few sips at the movie theater with my sister, we shared a drink...It has been easier than I thought it would be. I think part of it was mind over matter... Plus, because I stopped drinking pop, I now drink lots of water and some tea instead. Big improvement!!
With that change set, I decided it was time to change some eating habits...I now make it a point to eat a yogurt and some kind of whole grain for breakfast. My big change is lunch. I have committed to getting a veggie in at lunch. Lately, I have been eating a cheese stick, some kind of meat, whole grain crackers and a veggie. It is a great change from fast food or frozen food...It may not be the best lunch, but it is better than what I was doing. I am also doing better for snacks, I have almonds that I snack on now, rather than sugary junk food all day.
The downfall I am having right now, I still want candy! I have some at my desk at work and I will eat a few. This is going to be my next goal, however, if anyone knows my upbringing you will understand that this will be my hardest challenge....I am not really sure how to stop or limit my intake more, if you have any suggestions, I am open. And when should I feel guilty, after one piece, two, and handful? I also wanted to see what others eat in a day. I know what the food chart says and such, but in the environment we have, it seems that candy and sugar are readily available, so how much candy or sweets do you guys eat each day? Should I be ashamed for my wants?
Anyway, since I have stopped drinking pop, I originally noticed a lull in my energy, however, now I am noticing more energy than when I was inhaling it. Anyone else? We have also stopped with the fast food and eating out. We have cut it down quite a bit and now it is once a week or less. This is awesome on so many reasons and I am quite proud of us. It is so much easier to just say "Screw it. Let's go get something." We are making efforts to ensure we eat at home. So, if anyone has quick healthier dinner ideas, please throw them my way.
This seems like blathering now that I am looking at it, but I am proud to say that in the past 2 weeks with the eating adjustments, I have lost almost 4 lbs... I am excited to see where this newer path takes me...
Monday, April 2, 2012
Sometimes, I Just Don't Understand....
Today is a happy and sad day...Last year, my Mother In Law Renee joined our Savior. She had been battling colon cancer for what seemed a long short while...I miss her! I miss talking with her, her bluntness, and her willingness to listen, even if it was a list of complaints. Which a lot of the time, she could relate to me because she was married to Mike's Dad....Yeah. I think of the good times we had together and I want to celebrate the Beautiful Woman that she was. God Blessed me with a GREAT Mother In Law.
Today is sad and happy for another reason today, it has been a sad battle of emotion. I never had the privilege of meeting this little guy, but his smile and happiness touched me through the computer... Today us Charlie's 2nd Birthday, but instead today of celebrating with his Mom and Dad, he will celebrate his birthday in Heaven with God. Charlie, had a lump of pretzel that lodged in his throat last year and could not get it out. This makes me so sad. This is also why I think that everyone should know CPR and the Heimlich.
In remembrance
Today is sad and happy for another reason today, it has been a sad battle of emotion. I never had the privilege of meeting this little guy, but his smile and happiness touched me through the computer... Today us Charlie's 2nd Birthday, but instead today of celebrating with his Mom and Dad, he will celebrate his birthday in Heaven with God. Charlie, had a lump of pretzel that lodged in his throat last year and could not get it out. This makes me so sad. This is also why I think that everyone should know CPR and the Heimlich.
In remembrance
My Dad wrote this poem when my Papa passed away, and while I cry every time I read it. I find comfort in it too..
God looked around his garden,
And saw an empty space.
Then he looked down here on earth,
And saw your loving face.
He put His arms around you,
And lifted you to rest.
His garden must be beautiful,
Because he only picks the best.
A million times we'll miss you,
A million times we'll cry.
If love could have saved you,
You never would have died.
In life we loved you dearly,
In death we love you still.
In our hearts you hold a special place,
No one could ever fill.
It broke our hearts to lose you,
But you did not go alone.
For part of us went with you,
The day God took you home.
Written by: Patrick Muilenburg
We love you Renee and Charlie.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
TEDDY x2
After a fun filled morning, we packed up the kiddos and took Kyli to her quarterly TEDDY (The Environmental Determinants of Diabetes) visit. Kyli's 3 antibodies that they have been looking for tested positive the last visit. That means her chance in developing diabetes is 1 in 50. Anyway, we took Noah this time because they are doing a one time blood draw on family member to test for diabetes and see who is a carrier of the gene that puts Kyli at a higher risk then most youth her age. This was Noah's first and possible only visit. He behaved well, we just like to keep the visits calm and enjoyable for Kyli and sometimes that means without Brubra.
Our first stop when we get there is the front desk, here they put "Magic Lotion" on that numbs the arms where they take her blood from. This stuff is amazing and the only way that I would be apart of this study, because every visit they take blood.
Then we get to go play in the playroom until Miss Ruth comes and gets us. On this day, we were lucky and got to go in the Dora room, one of Kyli's favorites. We went through are usual questions, has she been sick, has her childcare changed, does she have a special diet.
Today was a little different because Noah and I had our blood drawn too, Mike had his done last time. I had my blood drawn first, no magic lotion for me, but Miss Ruth did it very nicely. Next was Kyli, now ever since Kyli was born, she has had itty bitty veins. So small that Miss Ruth calls in a experienced phelbotimist of about 20 years, Miss Michelle. Unfortunately, today Miss Michelle was at a convention in another state and her one time back up that we have used, Miss Tricia was with Miss Michelle. Kyli had two different nurses try this time to get her vein. The worst part was because she was numb, they went what I call "fishing for her vein." Now while Kyli did not feel the needle, she absolutely DESPISES the tourniquet. Her world is over once they put that on her arm! So, after 2 tries, one on each arm, from two nurses that have never tried Kyli's arms before. We left with a necklace, a unicorn duckie, and a wallet, but not a drop of blood could they get from her:( Well, not a drop except from the blood stick I did to get an A1C for her.
Here is Miss Kyli after her first and hopefully only rough visit we have...
Our first stop when we get there is the front desk, here they put "Magic Lotion" on that numbs the arms where they take her blood from. This stuff is amazing and the only way that I would be apart of this study, because every visit they take blood.
Then we get to go play in the playroom until Miss Ruth comes and gets us. On this day, we were lucky and got to go in the Dora room, one of Kyli's favorites. We went through are usual questions, has she been sick, has her childcare changed, does she have a special diet.
Today was a little different because Noah and I had our blood drawn too, Mike had his done last time. I had my blood drawn first, no magic lotion for me, but Miss Ruth did it very nicely. Next was Kyli, now ever since Kyli was born, she has had itty bitty veins. So small that Miss Ruth calls in a experienced phelbotimist of about 20 years, Miss Michelle. Unfortunately, today Miss Michelle was at a convention in another state and her one time back up that we have used, Miss Tricia was with Miss Michelle. Kyli had two different nurses try this time to get her vein. The worst part was because she was numb, they went what I call "fishing for her vein." Now while Kyli did not feel the needle, she absolutely DESPISES the tourniquet. Her world is over once they put that on her arm! So, after 2 tries, one on each arm, from two nurses that have never tried Kyli's arms before. We left with a necklace, a unicorn duckie, and a wallet, but not a drop of blood could they get from her:( Well, not a drop except from the blood stick I did to get an A1C for her.
Here is Miss Kyli after her first and hopefully only rough visit we have...
And our happy Mr. Noah who thought it was an easy peasy day and did not see what Kyli thought was such a BIG deal...
I really appreciate the efforts they went to to try and draw Kyli's blood, for me, it keeps me being prepared that Kyli may become diabetic. The three antibodies they look for have been recently present and each blood draw I want to know what is going on inside her. My lesson learned, make sure our Miss Ruth and Miss Michele are there EVERY visit, otherwise I need to schedule a different day.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Tours
So Mike's birthday is today, Super Bowl Sunday. He is a whole 28 years, the same as me for 4 months. Yesterday with the help of Mike's Dad and Stepmom, Mike and I had a day to ourselves. I planned the whole day, and for being a girl, I think I planned a pretty dang good day for him. We started out a little later than I had wanted due to more snow and two driveways to shovel.
So, we finally headed out at noon and I took him to Fort Collins, we ate a Monoglian place called Hu Hott. It was yummy. It was similar to BD's but I think we both decided we like BD's better, probably becuase that is what we are used to. Mike spoiled some of the plans by having a beer, but I figured we would be okay. After we ate plenty of food, we headed out. We passes a farm feed plant and I told him we were taking a tour of it, Mike just looked at me. We drove just a bit further and made our first stop. Fort Collins Brewery.
Fort Collins Brewery is a smaller brewery, but considering, it is a decent size. It sends beer to about 12 to 15 states. While we waited for our tour to start, we got a smapler of their seasonals....now if anyone knows me, I do not drink beer, at all. It is not an acquired taste to me, it will never be a taste I enjoy...but for Mikey's birthday, I made some due. I treated it like a coffee tasting... They gave us cards for the 6 beers we tried and the flavors of each. Now throughout the years with Mike I have takens sips of a lot of beers. I always smell them and Mike has always laughed, the cards with descriptions encouraged smelling the beers and getting the scents of what was in them! Well, I sipped each of those beers, and I was once again reminded that I least like the dark beers and I hate the hoppy taste of beer! But I finsihed the common ground beer all by myself...Miek enjoyed himself much more than I did....
So, we finally headed out at noon and I took him to Fort Collins, we ate a Monoglian place called Hu Hott. It was yummy. It was similar to BD's but I think we both decided we like BD's better, probably becuase that is what we are used to. Mike spoiled some of the plans by having a beer, but I figured we would be okay. After we ate plenty of food, we headed out. We passes a farm feed plant and I told him we were taking a tour of it, Mike just looked at me. We drove just a bit further and made our first stop. Fort Collins Brewery.
Fort Collins Brewery is a smaller brewery, but considering, it is a decent size. It sends beer to about 12 to 15 states. While we waited for our tour to start, we got a smapler of their seasonals....now if anyone knows me, I do not drink beer, at all. It is not an acquired taste to me, it will never be a taste I enjoy...but for Mikey's birthday, I made some due. I treated it like a coffee tasting... They gave us cards for the 6 beers we tried and the flavors of each. Now throughout the years with Mike I have takens sips of a lot of beers. I always smell them and Mike has always laughed, the cards with descriptions encouraged smelling the beers and getting the scents of what was in them! Well, I sipped each of those beers, and I was once again reminded that I least like the dark beers and I hate the hoppy taste of beer! But I finsihed the common ground beer all by myself...Miek enjoyed himself much more than I did....
This the double chocolate stout that I did not taste any chocolate in....
Finally we went on out tour, it was quite interesting. Their bottles are made in Windsor, pretty cool. They also bragged on how the just got a few new tanks that held 150 barrels of beer at one time. Mike and I were pretty impressed. We left there going "WOW" that was pretty impressive and really cool.
Our next and final stop was the Anhauser Busch plant, we made it for the last tour there which was lucky for us. We waited a few minutes and was able to do a tour with a total of 4 of us. The first place we stopped contained the same barrels that Fort Collins Brewery had, but we realized how much more popular Bud Light was than Fort Collins is quickly. On of the tanks for Anhauser held 4400 barrels of beer and they had 17 of these tanks! It was amazing!!! We went throughout the tour and each stop made us realize the difference between the two companies.
Here is one of the aisles in the fermenting area, there are some above this and another aisle.
When we were finished, we were given free samples here, we tried the new Platinum, it was not bad. Then we tried two of which ever we wanted, well, I tried one and that was more then plenty. Afterward, they gave us a sample of what they call a "dessert beer" weird, I know. It was blueberry. It looked like grape juice and tasted like blueberry juice, but a good taste to end our beer tour adventures...
Now, we have to go to the Coors tour in Golden to compare. Hhhhhmmmmm, I wonder what we will find there.
Happy Birthday Michael! Hope you had as much fun as me!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)