Connecting with Him

In the past year, I have started working on my relationship with God.  It has been more difficult than I have thought it would be and easier than I thought it would be...Since Renee passed away, Mike and I have made more of an effort to attend church, especially since Noah is questioning Heaven and God more and more. He is such a smart boy. 

So, we have been attending church, not as regularly as I would like, but we are getting there.  Our schedules get so chaotic, but I need to remind myself, we need to make time for Him. I try and and talk to Him each day, if for anything, to thank Him for my day and family. 

Here is where my trouble lies, I attend church and I listen, but I want more.  I went to church when I was little every weekend up until I was about 8, after that we just stopped going.  I read stories but that stopped too after that.  I feel ignorant, I want to understand the history of God and Jesus, however, I do not know where to start without feeling overwhelmed.  Bibles with there super thin paper and the verbiage sometimes makes me feel like I am reading French.  I want to grasp the significance of each person and the trials and tribulations that occurred.  Any suggestions? I want such a wonderful relationship with God, but I do not know how that can happen when I don't feel like I know all his history.  What happened to him, what he did, what people did to him.  How can I love Him for all he is worth when I do not know him that way?

I would like to mention that even though I do not know his whole story, when we are at church and I am listening, I have never felt a greater closeness and peace then in that moment.  I open my heart, and give my love.  I get goosebumps at every service. To think of all that occurred is just breathtaking. It is so selfless and loving.